Heartbroken

We had a FET on July 15th. We were hoping to give Mckenzie a brother or sister. The doctor was positive at least one of the embyos would take. Everything looked great throuughout the whole cycle. Unfortunately, it didn't take. I am not pregnant.

It is especially hard because I felt pregnant. I was convinced that I was carrying twins because I was feeling the effects from "being pregnant" so soon.

I know I have Mckenzie. I know she is a miracle and truly a blessing from God. But just because we have her, it does not mean we feel our family is complete. I don't understand why some people think it's OK to say, but at least you have Mckenzie. I am happier than ever that I have my Mckenzie, but I feel like I lost a child. It's not like we can just go and try again next month like most couples. We are still trying to recover from the debt incurred when trying to have Mckenzie and the last procedure. Insurance doesn't cover it. Anyone have $20K they want to just give us to pay for the next try?

I would like to do a fresh cycle again. Then if there were any frozen embryos left, try those, but that is it. I can't continue to do it for emotional and financial reasons. It is just too tough when it doesn't work.

Now I am going to focus on myself a little more. I am going to make my life a little more healthier and continue to lose more weight. That way if I do get pregnant again, I will weigh even less than when I had Mckenzie. I think that will really help with the future baby too.